The Patience of a Willing Heart

There’s been a song stuck in my head since Sunday, and it won’t leave no matter what. That song is Jon Foreman’s Your Love is Strong.

One of the lines from the song that has embedded itself within me says “so why do I worry? Why do I freak out? God knows what I need, You know what I need.” I hadn’t thought about this until today, but I realize that this song replaying itself in my mind may serve a purpose.

See, lately I’ve been worrying/freaking out on a minor scale about life in a few years. I want to be married, I want to make enough money to not struggle through life, but at the same time, I don’t have a four-year degree and I’m still praying about what decision to make as far as school goes (there’s a story behind why I’m unsure whether school is for me, and I may or may not write about it at a later date). I’ve looked up many jobs in the Melbourne, Fl area to scope out what the job market may be like come September, and I’ve also been searching out career paths. All of it has left me, as anyone whose every had financial worries, quite flustered. “What do I do?” “How do I go about this?” “Which job is right?” Every thought concerning this has run circles in my brain. Until today. Today, my heart finally lined itself up with what my mouth has been speaking for so long: God knows what I need.

I don’t believe with a single ounce of my being that God brings us places to just let us down. I don’t believe He closed the doors of schooling for two years before opening the door to travel to leave me high and dry. I don’t believe he resolved the issue of getting the money for the plane ticket here just to abandon me once I left the U.S. And I certainly don’t believe that He’s going to ignore me for the rest of my days so that I can figure out life on my own. The Bible says that God is an ever-present help in times of need. And if you, like me, believe we always need Him, then we can be sure that He’s always here for us.

So why do I worry? Why do I freak out? I can be the first to admit that my faith may not always be as strong as I’d like it to be. God’s okay with it though. He doesn’t expect my perfection, just my obedience, and I’m out to partner with Him in whatever He wants for my life and my world.

Is the process of growing up and finding enough money to be well-off scary and intimidating? You can bet the butt that you’re sitting on while reading this it is. But I’m making the decision (for like, the millionth time) to put my fears aside in trust in God to provide. Does this mean I’ll sit on my arse and expect Him to do all the work for me? Absolutely not. The beauty of the partnership we have with God is that we get to be a part of His dreams, which are so much bigger than we can imagine. That’s a topic for another post, but my point is that working together with God instead of alone, or instead of Him doing all the work, is that we finite creations get to work together with the INfinite Creator! That is one of the most beautiful things my mind can (hardly) wrap itself around.

So with this new season coming up just 5 months away, I’m making the choice to step out in faith and trust God with not only my life and my heart, but with my fears, insecurities, finances, and everything else. Because I can’t do it alone. And even if I could, doing things alone sucks. So here’s to the future which God is propelling me into. May my heart, my mind, and my spirit be trusting and in tune with the Lord.



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